What Did She Say?

Help me here.  Somebody.  Anybody.

Seriously, is Sarah Palin just incapable of formulating a coherent sentence?  Somewhere in that disjointed mess of verbal diarrhea I’m pretty sure she quit her job.  Because…?  Dunno.  I think it had something to do with David Letterman.  And ducks.  And dead fish.  But I’m not sure, and I actually watched that speech twice.  Pass the Advil.

I shudder to think what a laughingstock the United States would have been reduced to had she and gramps been elected.  Can you just imagine a meeting between Vice President Sarah Palin and Kim Jong Il?

“Well really, Mr. Il, it’s just such a pleasure to finally meet you.  Can I call you Kim?  I love that name, Kim.  I almost named my last child Kim,  ya know, in honor of you and this lovely country you have here, it really is lovely ya know, the whole continent for that matter is lovely, though not as lovely as Israel.  We LOVE Israel, ya know, they have such great people over there, and also too I really think that Ahmadinejad fella is starting to come right around, really.  I stayed in the NICEST hotel when I was over there, ‘course I paid for it myself cuz Alaskans, those great folks, got their panties in a wad all of a sudden over some really silly stuff  that’s costing me and my wonderful husband Todd, he’s a great guy, some serious bank to justify, lemme tell ya, so it wasn’t as nice as it could have been and it would have been a lot more fun if Todd and the kids coulda come along but I couldn’t afford that but I had the greatest view from my hotel window!  I could almost see Pakistan!  I waved toward Pakistan and yelled ‘Hi Neighbors!’ like I do back home in Wasilla every morning except then I’m talking to the great folks in Russia, I don’t like Borscht but those Russians are great, but anyway I’m not sure they could hear me cuz nobody yelled back.  Well, except for those guys down in the street there, they yelled up at me and waved back with their guns, they musta known I love to hunt and they’re just so gracious over there in Israel, that’s why we love ‘em so much.  You betcha!  So anyway we ended up naming our son Trig, ya know why?  I’ll tell ya.  It’s short for Trigger, ya know, that little thing you pull just before you kill a moose?  Ever killed a moose?  That’s a lot of fun, you betcha it is, and we oughta go hunting one of these days.  Yep, moose are a lot more fun to kill than squirrels or those lame ducks and, ya know, dead fish only swim upstream so there’s no real challenge there.  Hey, are ya gonna eat that Kim Chee?  Speaking of Kim Chee, didja know that Hawaii loves Kim Chee?  You betcha!  Who knew, huh?  Isn’t that somethin’?  Hey, is that named after you?  Kim Chee, Kim Jong?  Is Chee short for Jong?  What’s Chee mean?  Yessirree, they love Kim Chee over there on that beautiful continent of Hawaii.  You and Hawaiians have a lot in common, dontcha think?  It’d really be a shame to blast good folks like those nice Hawaiians over there with missiles, ya know, because it’s all about job creation and shoring up the economy under the umbrella of, ya know, health care reform and those soldiers in Iraq really are the ones we should be thanking.  I really like Hawaiians, but I love Koreans too and also too those Israelians are just the best aren’t they?  Not as great as Alaskans because we have that pipeline thing comin’ and nobody grills up caribou like an Alaskan can, and we’re gonna have a Labor Day picnic and invite our neighbors to the north up there in Russia and… hey! You wanna come, too?”

Wink.